Today

I did the worst job on an assignment ever!
Which stressed me out so badly!
:(

And now I feel super sickly!


But I am going on camp this weekend!
The first ever Eddie Rice family mini camp!
Which will hopefully fulfill my cravings!
I have been suffering from withdrawal symptoms!
But I am off again this weekend,
So yay!

Ok, so here is one I wrote earlier

Blog: 27/09/11 9:30pm
My Internet is so shoddy,
It is killing me!
I need my super fast connection back! But until then, I will have to make do with writing blog posts on my iPad and then posting them when I get to uni...

So, what has been happening with me?
I have gotten myself all confused about boys again,
as usual :(
why are they always so hard to understand?
I even sat through hours of brownlow medal announcements and all of that junk for him,
which for me is a big deal, and I just want to scream a bit!
Oh well, I have several months of nun-ish-ness to look forward to yet I am sure.
might as well enjoy them :P
other than that, I have been studying for uni and getting all of my assignments done,
I even managed to get a HD for one thing :D
I have been nice and queezy the last few days, which hasn't been particularly nice, plus I haven't been able to sleep properly, which has made me fairly erratic and slightly cranky!
my presentation on early childhood depression went well today, although I hope that I never have to think about it even again!
the facts about 6 years olds and younger being diagnosed with clinical depression are just plain scary!
Anyway, it is time for me to try and get some sleep!

Oh, and I am super-massively rugged up for a freezing night, the weather man predicted 4 degrees!

i have this rolling through my head

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you'd only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.

The internet

Is royally screwed

So won't be posting for almost a month,
Although if I get a chance at the uni's free Internet I will give it a go!
But until then,
Live life to the fullest EVERYDAY!

xx

I find it all rather depressing

I am currently mid way through an assignment for my behaviour management unit at uni,
And my topic is depression,
So I have spent the last few hours pouring over pages and pages of facts, statistics and information about depression in zero to eight year olds!
It is shockingly grounding!
What could possibly have gone wrong for such young children to be burdened with one of the worst disorders?
And then reading about suicide rates in under 12s!!!
It is so upsetting!
I would even suggest that it is depressing just reading about this!
Of course, I have been dealing with my own depression for years now,
But 6 year olds? They are meant to be playing and enjoying the simplicity of life!
Not contemplating their own morbidity!!!
What happened to protecting the innocence of children?
Why has that rate of depression in early childhood increased by 580% in the last 10 years?
And the government keeps sending money overseas with our military?
The biggest problem of all is that everyone is still in denial over this prevalent issue!
No one believes that children can get such an atrocious disorder!
I am currently studying a unit which is based around creating a learning environment for early childhood, that reflects personal beliefs. And you can all be assured that when I am let loose on the world of teaching, my classroom will be a haven of childishness!
A kindergarten is scary enough when you are a tiny child coming straight from spending all of your days at home with mum...
Why make it worse, by having set desks, and homework?
My classroom will be colourful, it will have a home corner, it will most importantly be personal!
I will spend the first few weeks focusing on the students,
Making posters about their families to display, and getting them to bring in photos, toys and trinkets from home.
The transition period into school is what students will base their entire reaction to the idea of schooling from!
If I can create a positive reaction, then hopefully that will have an even larger positive influence on their future learning and emotional development!!!

when i was cleaning my room...

i did a massive clean out of my room the other week,
and i found some fun things that i haven't seen since i was in high school!
including a bunch of plane letters that i got when i went on the french study tour in 2006.
one particular envelop had 2 letters from my at-the-time boyfriend...
i used to think that they were clingy and obsessive,
but i don't know,
when i was reading them they are fairly mushy,
but also very amusing to read!
all about me being his world,
and how i should look at the moon and we would be together in spirit.
which is really cute,
in that high school romance kind of way!
maybe it is just that i have been single for an epically long time?
probably the only reason that i could look at these letter with some sort of positivity?
i don't know,
but they were entertaining when i re-read them for the first time!

late night postings

i am up at 11:41 on a friday night...
but not cos i have been out partying,
unfortunately i have been struggling on assignments and waiting for my sister to finish work!
which sucks!
i wish i was tired,
then i could at least try to sleep!
or someone to talk to for hours on the phone!
my mobile has been almost dead these past few days!
it is rather upsetting,
i used to be pushing or exceeding my $450 cap plan,
and that was every single month,
and now i am lucky if i send 50 messages per month!
quite sad, i know!
on a happier note,
i got my tax return cheque in the mail :D
i had thought i would need to pay somewhere around $600,
but because of the fact that i can now claim for study expenses due to my youth allowance,
i ended up finding a cheque with $658 all for me!
i put it into the bank today,
so hopefully the actual money will appear in my account sometime next week :D
i love good surprises,
without that awful build up of anticipation.
i cannot stand anticipation, or suspense.
i like to be in control of all things surrounding me!
which i am not, when i am surprised...
anyway,
i hear my uni work calling,
or maybe that was the next episode of ncis saying my name?

a sign of the times

i got a letter in the mail the other day,
like a real hand written letter!
it was ulitmately lovely :)
i am sent letter so rarely,
it is really quite sad that every one has become to technologically dependant,
if we're not sending a text or calling people,
then we are emailing or facebooking them...
it is all about the instant gratification that comes from knowing that someone can answer you straight away,
and not having to wait days for an answer!
i would seriously love a pen pal,
on the other side of the world,
someone that i can write to weekly,
updating on my strange little day-to-day happenings,
and that amazing feeling of anticipatio when you hear the postman delivering the letters!
it is truly an amazing feeling,
knowing that somewhere out in that great postal service is a hand-written letter,
that someone has put time and effort into preparing!
but how do you meet people on the other side of the world to begin writing letters to?

p.s.

I have officially lost 10 kilos,
So I am in a lovely mood,
Although I have been craving a cheeseburger all day!
But I have been a good girl and held back!

just another day at uni

I had a super fun at uni today,
I got up nice and early,
Walked to the train station and got to uni for 9am...
Waited around for half an hour,
Then we found a sign on the door saying today's lecture had been cancelled!
Garhhh,
And then when we went to the library,
We looked online and there was an email saying that due to unforeseen circumstances the lecture was cancelled.
But the email had been sent at 8:55am,
Which was when I was already on the train!
And there was nothing on blackboard about what was happening...
And then, another hour later, I got an email saying that my tutorial was also cancelled!
Which meant that I had nothing to do until 12:30!
Which is so so so very annoying!
Argh!!!!!!!!!
So then, I was at uni for three and a half hours for one hour of tutorial!
I would have just gone home,
But I had a presentation,
Which meant that I HAD to stay :(

so much sport

I had pe today :(
Haven't run that much in several years!!!
It will be good for my weight loss though!
Yay yay yay
But now I feel sickly,
Bleurgh :(
Headache and dizzy is bad for my well-being,
Hopefully the next 7 weeks of sport won't leave me feeling this gross!
And I plan on getting an amazing night's sleep tonight :D
Other than that, I have had a reasonably good couple of days.

My pretty new ipad

<3
I bought an iPad this morning and it is epic!
I spent the day organizing it, but still have many apps left to find!
Haven't been up to much apart from that,
Weight loss is going super well, and I have been consistently doing my sit ups and leg exercises!
Like the good girl that I am :)
Watched some NCIS,
Wishing I had more seasons than just 1,5 and 7...
But I guess more would be an even greater distraction!
So maybe this is a good thing?
Father's day tomorrow,
Managed to organise a gift over a week ago!
Super organised

Anyway, gots to go!