starting a new

I am struggling a little, hopefully it will work, I have officially cut my awful charlie out of my life! it will be tough, but I think I might type out allot my hatred or what I want to say to him, on my blog! so look forward to the start of some whining! what am I talking about, the start, as of I haven't whined about it before!



oh, and p.s. to start my new beginning I have dyed my hair blondes-orangey-pinky!!!

another lack of posts from me...

I am most apologetic, I honestly wish I had the time to sit and type you a proper post.
as it is, this post is being written in my allotted sleeping time!
but at this point in time I am considering writing as more important than sleep...
which probably isn't a good sign, but I find that the writing down of what is on my mind is therapeutic to an extent.
and I really need to clear my mind.
I don't know what it is, but my mind has just decided to send me into a spiraling plummet into the depths on my depression, and the only reason I can think of is my homecoming from holidays, which really isn't that emotional.
sure I loved Tasmania, I want to move there when I graduate, but it wasn't that emotional.
so then, why do I feel like my world is crumbling around me?
why do I feel so stuck and frozen?
and what can snap me out of it?
I just need these answers, preferably before the new year, so I can start fresh.
speaking of the new year, I am beginning to compile a list of resolutions to set for next year.
at the moment, topping the list is: 
- smile at the little things

because I feel that I am really failing at this right now.

I also have
- lose 10 kilos,
- achieve credits or higher in all subjects,

I want to add a couple more things to the list, but I can't think of what at the moment, no doubt I will come up with some by new years :)

I have also started making a bucket list, not because I am dying, or because I want to die, more because I really need something to look forward to at the moment. so far it is pretty small, but I will add things to the list, and remove things as I complete them.
- go to a traditional indian wedding,
- take a hot air balloon ride,
- see the northern lights,
- travel to tasmania, ***
- travel to new Zealand, ***
- buy and revive an old terrace house,
- taste truffles,
- cook a Christmas turkey solo,
- drive through a car wash,
- see missy higgins in concert,
- adopt a child,
- attend the Tasmanian food festival,
- visit the wizarding world of Harry Potter in Florida,
- swim the rotto swim,
- drive across Australia,

exam results

ok, so turns out I actually passed all of my units this semester :D



I am actually mega happy!!!

- Posted from my iPad

will you marry me

i got distracted by wedding blogs and ended up looking at beautiful rings,
and i found this one, that i adore,

an update

i think it is probably about time for me to give you all an update of my life,
aside from the depressing boys part...
i did promise to give regular updates about my resolutions,
but i have failed, so i will give you an update now and hope that i will be forgiven.
i have managed to lose 23 kilos since the middle of august,
so i am massively stoked :D

i still have a few kilos to lose before i can say i am at a happy weight,
but i am moving in the right direction!
my saving is also going well, but only because i sold my car...
so that boosted my bank account.
as for my grades, i am currently in the middle of exams,
and my blog updates are more frequent than ever,
what does that tell you!
haha, well, i think i have done reasonably well this semester.
hopefully!

lastly, i leave on my fantastic tasmanian adventure thursday next week, which is starting to freak me out.
i have never travelled on my own before,
and i am going to have to make some good friends fast!
freak out!
hopefully i can put my social butterfly wings on for the trip :)

x

I find it all rather depressing

I am currently mid way through an assignment for my behaviour management unit at uni,
And my topic is depression,
So I have spent the last few hours pouring over pages and pages of facts, statistics and information about depression in zero to eight year olds!
It is shockingly grounding!
What could possibly have gone wrong for such young children to be burdened with one of the worst disorders?
And then reading about suicide rates in under 12s!!!
It is so upsetting!
I would even suggest that it is depressing just reading about this!
Of course, I have been dealing with my own depression for years now,
But 6 year olds? They are meant to be playing and enjoying the simplicity of life!
Not contemplating their own morbidity!!!
What happened to protecting the innocence of children?
Why has that rate of depression in early childhood increased by 580% in the last 10 years?
And the government keeps sending money overseas with our military?
The biggest problem of all is that everyone is still in denial over this prevalent issue!
No one believes that children can get such an atrocious disorder!
I am currently studying a unit which is based around creating a learning environment for early childhood, that reflects personal beliefs. And you can all be assured that when I am let loose on the world of teaching, my classroom will be a haven of childishness!
A kindergarten is scary enough when you are a tiny child coming straight from spending all of your days at home with mum...
Why make it worse, by having set desks, and homework?
My classroom will be colourful, it will have a home corner, it will most importantly be personal!
I will spend the first few weeks focusing on the students,
Making posters about their families to display, and getting them to bring in photos, toys and trinkets from home.
The transition period into school is what students will base their entire reaction to the idea of schooling from!
If I can create a positive reaction, then hopefully that will have an even larger positive influence on their future learning and emotional development!!!

p.s.

I have officially lost 10 kilos,
So I am in a lovely mood,
Although I have been craving a cheeseburger all day!
But I have been a good girl and held back!

My pretty new ipad

<3
I bought an iPad this morning and it is epic!
I spent the day organizing it, but still have many apps left to find!
Haven't been up to much apart from that,
Weight loss is going super well, and I have been consistently doing my sit ups and leg exercises!
Like the good girl that I am :)
Watched some NCIS,
Wishing I had more seasons than just 1,5 and 7...
But I guess more would be an even greater distraction!
So maybe this is a good thing?
Father's day tomorrow,
Managed to organise a gift over a week ago!
Super organised

Anyway, gots to go!

also

a great acheivement on my behalf,
i have successfully lost 6 kilos,
and not eaten junk food in 2 and a half weeks!
hooray for a girl called spacey!
i am feeling very dedicated and organised,
due to my hardcore assignmenting and my healthiness and my super clean room and my new monthly planner which is all sorted and pretty!
and another thing, i haven't spent any money this week!
so hopefully soon i can add a successful savings plan to my list of acheivements!
cheerio for now

my resolutions

i have realised that there has been no update on how my new years resolutions have been going,

1. i unfortunately gained 5 kilos since new years, but in the last 2 months i have lost almost 10 :)
leaving me with another 15/17 to lose
2. i did briefly get back into swimming, but training just doesn't seem to fit in, so i will attempt to do ~3 hours exercise per week, be it walking, a gym class with tess or a swim on my own.
3. i have already failed at least one unit this semester, so that resolution has no way of being saved :(
4. i got given more than the amount i wanted to save, for my birthday, so i cheated. plus, i have spent $2000 on my end of year holiday, plus spending moneys, so i really am going to struggle to save it on my own...
because i really don't earn anywhere near enough to save that much!
so new goal = save $2000!
i will try and do weekly updates, to keep me on track!
lets hope i can acheive these new and improved goals

live below the line

i'm going to be living off $2 per day in may,
so if anyone reads this it would be absolutely wonderful if they could donate and sponsor me!
i will be letting you know how i am surviving when the time comes,
with pictures and meal reviews, etc.

pretty please donate!

http://www.livebelowtheline.org.au/spacey?langPref=en-CA

not hungry

for some reason i have not been hungry yesterday and today...
which has resulted in me not eating much...
i think i ate a grand total of a mcflurry yesterday,
which is not very healthy, but still.
and today i have eaten one slice of bread,
plain.
for a giant fatty like me, this is very strange.
maybe i am just freaking out about tomorrow.

assignments

ok, so this assignment is killing me!
there is so much work involved!
and i'm only doing half of it!
seriously, so much work

but, i can cheer myself up by remembering that when it is finished it will be the most amazing game ever!
for kids that is!

and i have to pass, well, with all the effort i have put in i will really be hoping for a HD...
so i am likely to get very disappointed!
oh well,
nothing like setting your hopes really high ands then to have them come crumbling down and making you feel really lowsy!

brownies

mummy made chocolate brownies,
they are very tasty :D
om nom nom!
but bad for my flubbiness

cheesy nuggets

they are so full of processed junk,
but for some reason they are so so so yummy.
i feel so sick and gross after eating too many ick.
and they are really not helping with my weight loss,
tomorrow i will start my diet,
always tomorrow,
never right now.

uni work

so that i complete at least one part of my resolution list for this year, i find myself trying ridonculously hard for uni, which is sure to make my life hell later on in the semester. however, i have my first assignment due on tuesday of next week, and i have already completed my first part of a learning journal which also counts for 20% of my grade for that unit. i do, thankfully, find myself enjoying this unit, which will hopefully mean that absorbing info comes easier and studying won't be such a chore :S

the first time

so, i've decided to start a blog. whether or not anyone reads it really doesn't bother me. i just want to get stuff out there.
the whole idea for a blog came about in my uni course, where i have to start a blog of my opinions on the readings we do in class, but don't worry, i won't bore you with that.
i'd like to start with a list of the new years resolutions i hastily made just before midnight at the end of last year.
1. get a credit or above in all of my uni units,
2. lose 20 kilos,
3. get back into swimming,
4. save $5000

now that they are out there i have to achieve them, so pressure's on!
i'll let you know how i go with them